When Siya and Rachel announced their divorce, the news sent shockwaves through the South African media and their global fanbase. As one of the country’s most beloved couples, their split seemed to shatter the illusion of a fairytale romance. Yet, as Rachel herself has candidly revealed, the cracks in their marriage were visible long before the official announcement.
In an emotional video from the documentary Rise: The Siya Kolisi Story, Rachel shared a raw insight into her marriage, admitting she had been “done” and ready for divorce. “It was like there were two other people. It was Siya, and then there was a horrible Siya,” she confessed. This stark revelation lays bare the emotional toll that her tumultuous relationship with Siya had on her over the years.
Strain of personal struggles and the public eye
A key factor behind the Kolisis’ divorce is the immense pressure of balancing personal demons with public expectations. Siya Kolisi, celebrated as the hero of South African rugby, also struggled with his personal issues, including heavy drinking and reckless behaviour. As revealed in his book and documentary, it was only after a crucial confrontation from mentor Ben Schoeman in 2019 that Siya recognized the destructive patterns in his life. “You drink a lot, you fool around with women, you go to strip clubs… You post on social media about your faith in Christ, but you’re lying to yourself and everyone else,” Schoeman told him.
Such behaviour, coupled with the stress of being under constant public scrutiny, undeniably put a strain on Siya and Rachel’s marriage. For Rachel, the emotional toll became unbearable. The duality of Siya’s personality, his public image versus the personal struggles he was battling, left little room for a stable, healthy relationship.
Growth apart: The reality of evolving as individuals
Another key reason for the Kolisis’ divorce lies in the natural process of personal growth and change that occurs over time. In their joint statement, the couple acknowledged that they “grew apart” and that their journey had taken them in different directions. Relationships can be difficult when two individuals are evolving at different rates, and Rachel and Siya’s story exemplifies this painful reality.
Siya himself admitted in a recent interview that he sought marriage counselling due to his inability to connect with Rachel emotionally. “I couldn’t give everything to my wife because my heart was so hard,” he confessed. This sense of emotional disconnect further highlights the internal rift that widened between the couple.
Being a public figure, especially in a country like South Africa where rugby is a national obsession, only adds more pressure to an already strained relationship. The Kolisis became symbols of unity and strength, but in many ways, this image may have obscured the realities of their personal struggles. Constant media attention, public expectations, and the stress of raising a family in the spotlight would challenge even the strongest of marriages.
Kolisi: Reminder of the complexity of love
The Kolisis’ divorce is, at its core, a reminder that even the most celebrated relationships face immense challenges. Despite the public adoration, the couple’s private struggles were real and painful. Their journey together, though now over, will always be remembered for the love they shared and the lessons learned. As Rachel stated, “We’ll always cherish the memories and lessons shared,” signalling that even in the face of a painful breakup, personal growth and mutual respect remain.
In the end, while Siya and Rachel Kolisi’s divorce may seem like an unexpected turn for a couple who once epitomised resilience and unity, it also serves as a poignant reflection of the complex dynamics of love, growth, and personal transformation.
Stay tuned with The South African as we look at why the Kolisis’ divorce isn’t as surprising as we might think.