Actress Ayanda Borotho’s journey back to self-love


Actress Ayanda Borotho said the world would be so much better if people learnt to rid themselves of expectations.

Actress Ayanda Borotho said the world would be so much better if people learnt to rid themselves of expectations.
Image: Instagram/Ayanda Borotho

Television actress and author Ayanda Borotho has shared her pearls of wisdom and her learned valuable experiences through her journey to self-love.

In her personal memoir titled Unbecoming To Become, she delves deep into her journey back to self. The actress took to her Instagram to share her insights.




“I’m learning one of the biggest and heaviest loads we carry is the burden of ‘owing’ people and the ‘expectation’ to pay back for what was or is being done towards us or for us. And vice versa. We have expectations of people too because of what we have done for them

“We live in such a transactional world that it’s rare to come across people who are simply genuine (though they do exist). We owe parents for not abandoning us. We owe friends for being in our corner.”

“We owe husbands for not cheating on us and being good fathers. We owe employers for giving us and keeping us in the job. We owe those who have opened doors of opportunity for us. What a huge debt it must be to carry.”

Ayanda explained that the narrative should be that the people who are doing all these things are playing their chosen roles.

“When the real narrative should be parents have an obligation to raise us to the best of their ability. They chose to have us. True friends are always in your corner. Loyalty is not for sale. Husbands are meant to love us and our children. Being a good husband or father is not doing your wife and children a favour. It is his responsibility (and blessing).”


Ayanda said no-one owes anyone a favour, and life would be easier if we didn’t live indebted to anyone.

“When I’m working, I contribute meaningfully to the team. I get paid for the service I render, which the organisation needs. Ho-one is doing anyone any favours. Those who open doors are in positions of service by virtue of having the authority or anointing to hold the key. Authority is a blessing and a gift.

“It should serve and not take. The world would be so much better if we learned to rid ourselves of expectations for doing what we should be doing in the first place, and it would even be better if we didn’t live feeling indebted to the world. I am grateful not to be indebted. I serve with gratitude and not expectation. There’s a difference.”